gabapentin ruined my life

gabapentin ruined my lifehow long do stake presidents serve

I want to go down another 300 but I'm afraid to I don't think I could handle all that again. I think the worst advice on here is to halve the dose. I've realized I have to commit to 2 years of my life to getting off this stuff, but in the end I know it will be worth the slow taper. I felt like I was being stabbed in my stomach when I was on gaba. However, the withdrawal symptoms have been a series of horror for most other people. Look up information about tapering off benzoid drugs or the NY Times article about people trying to get off anti-depressants, we're all in the same boat and they're FINALLY realizing that. I hold the FDA to be just as culpable. 14Nevertheless, you have done well tosharewith mein my affliction. I hope everyone has a safe recovery from this drug. I created a schedule and not sure whether withdrawal symptoms are any worse than the side effects, if not I can handle this with HIS help. This activity outlines the indications, mechanism of action, dosing . From now on I will research any drug they put me on! I thought the only CS I was on OCCASSIONALLY is my opiod which I RARELY take, I wanted to make sure I never got addicted. One consistency in my medical records is, Gabapentin sometimes causes jerking movements with chronic use, but it resolves with reduction of dosage. That is true in some cases, but not with a hypothalamic lesion, but now they have decided to call it a cyst. That was a very quick drop, so you may have a tougher WD than tome. Anyone getting thru this should appreciate what its like to feel "normal" when (and if) it passes. so finally I went back to the doctor and he put me on 600 more milligram at night. Pain in the upper shoulder, tingles in chest, muscle cramps, low memory, hot and cold flashes, nausea with vomiting, anxiety with constant heart palpitations, flu.. All these went away after a couple weeks, my only problems now are depression and emotional issues. It can take a while for the body to reset after discontinuing the drugespecially if not done properly. For many a 10% cut every 2 weeks is still too fast. Gabapentin was the answer to all my problems l suppose. If you put your mind to it, you are serious, determined, and unwavering, as well as resourceful, then trust me, you are on your way to recovery because there are various therapies and treatments already available. I did have another problem though, intrusive OCD . It isnt a death sentence, nor is it like cancer or HIV. 50mg every 4 weeks then when I get down to just 600, he can then change it so I can get the capsules that I can continue with the dosage. Gabapentin is associated with a number of side effects and some people may not be able to tolerate this medication at all. I found for me, I needed at least 8 weeks between drops, some are fine with 3 or 4 weeks. Gabapentin is a prescription medication known as a gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA) analogue. This is going to take a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time for me to be able to do this slowly, and I'm PETRIFIED in NOT stopping and IN stopping. Have your boyfriend read testimonials and he will see that people have detoxed from heroin and opiods quicker and easier than this. Unfortunately, it is a very slow process. Some people get severely affected and develop some of the serious, rare and disturbing side effects that can linger around for much longer even after the discontinuation of your treatment. I'm going to print it out and bring with me to my PCP. The recommended dose range will depend on the childs age and weight. Tapering or slowly reducing your dose is the recommended way to stop taking gabapentin. The following experiences of people who went through this issue of Gabapentin ruined their lives are from two popular and legit sites: www.patient.info and www.drugs.com; Alright, that is all for now. My favorite scripture Phillipians 4:13 that's where I put ALL of my faith in. Another user stated: Gabapentin became my worst nightmare right after I took the first ever dose of this medication. If taken incorrectly, stopped abruptly, or tapered too quickly or the wrong way (or if one has developed a tolerance), before the body can rebuild GABA, lots of uncalm things can happen (insomnia, anxiety, sweating, heart palpitations, panic attacks, muscle tightness & pain, twitching, akathisia, digestive issues, breathing difficulties, nerve excitementburning, itching, tingling, numbness, etc.) I pray so! Thanks to all who share! I had gabapentin prescription but rarely took it but when I went off of the Percocet I took the gabapentin to ease the withdrawal symptoms. And if you're going up and down, as you start to increase, it's getting hard on your brain and body. Not sure if you meant you are terrified to stay on it!! i'm about 135 lbs 5'7. ive been stagering with 300 mg every 35 minutes while drinking something with caffeine (mt.dew/bang) and eating a banana or peanut butter sandwich for the absorbing effects until i get a buzz usually around 900mg (the third dose) and if i feel i'm not high enough i'll go up to 1200 mg . The risk of death with co-use of opioids and gabapentin is up to 60 percent greater with doses of gabapentin over 900 milligrams per day. I went off because I had horrible side effects! The doc told me he phoned in 3 prescriptions to the pharmacy, two antibiotics and and anti-nausea med all of which I'm to take the day before surgery. Gabapentin mimics the actions of GABA, which is an inhibitory neurotransmitter. I came off gabapentin last November.i started to feel as if I was getting Back to some sort of normality mid February. is one of the best health sites out there that genuinely cares for you. Why would a neurologist tell me to go off suddenly and give me no warning? clumsiness or unsteadiness. They don't know what they are doing when it comes to this drug and they don't listen to the people who have suffered from using it. Call your doctor if you have any unusual problems while taking this medication. I don't even know how to explain but reading your post about your mind not functioning right..feeling off in the head like brain damage.. After a lot of digging on the internet, I found out, no, I am not the only unfortunate one. Google it. I do not do recreational drugs, smoke, or abuse narcotics. Second one is from G.Allyn: My plan was to write about my extremely painful and unexpected withdrawal experience after I felt better, but it has been FIFTEEN months. I don't know what your "withdrawal" symptoms have been, but I had burning, severe bilateral leg pain, nerve shaking and eye pain. I'm expecting something wonderful to happen soon and I don't want to be poisioning my body with this garbage. Now I am stuck on the gabapentin. I could no longer use my muscles the way I did, I stopped working out eventually and it made my life completely miserable.. Seems like I had no improvement at all. And then when it happened a second time I was thinking something's wrong should I go to the doctor. The timeline to reduce gabapentin depends on the individual and the current dose of the medication. Gabapentin is an anticonvulsant and nerve pain medication used to treat conditions like seizures and alleviate pain caused by shingles. The irritability is so bad, I can barely get ready to leave the house and go to a meeting. I feel really cruddy today But that just might be me I don't know. Its important to discuss any symptoms youre experiencing with your doctor so that they can adjust your dosing schedule. I thought I was going to die at some points. So I am still on 900 mg I figured at least I should have 300 mg out of my system name for surgery. Persons who died of a gabapentin-related drug death were prescribed the drug legitimately 91.4% of the time, with 84.2% of those also having a known prior history of abuse or misuse of prescription medications. Gabapentin Withdrawl Support Group - Facebook Group. I wonder if physicians are playing dumb, or they are truly in the dark. I went into treatment for alcohol at the end of September of this year. Because being so dizzy and nauses. Gabapentin affects GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acida calming element) in the body. Along with a course of gabapentin, Restless Leg Syndrome can be treated or managed with other therapeutic methods, like: Neurontin or gabapentin groups of medicines work fine with antidepressants as it induces sleep and has a calming effect. One of the crucial points, why I feel gabapentin has ruined my life, is because of its moderately long-standing withdrawal effects. (That fact is similar to benzodiazepines except that gabapentin affects GABA through calcium receptors rather than GABA receptors.). DariaVin: I went off morphine ER and percocet before I discontinued the gabapentin. I have been more suicidal than ever before, angry and frustrated that I was ever put on that drug and lied to about the side effects and withdrawals. My doctors deny everything, I don't even bother to consult with them any more as they want me to get back on the Gab and can't understand why in the world I want to stop it. Weaned off Drs way! These include: According to the authors of a 2010 study paper; people with preexisting kidney disease may experience potentially fatal toxicity when taking gabapentin. I feel like each gabapentin prescription should come with free coupons for a spa day and cognitive therapy, because after what you go through, you will surely need it. God bless, I guess I am confused, but that is nothing new after being on gaba! It made no sense,,,the next day i wad led to look at the gabaa,,,i was having so many side effects from it, chest pain, anxiety, panic attacks and the list goes on and on, all lof it was from the gaba,,,i hate taking it and i hate not taking it,,,it is poison,,,wd is for me ears ringing at a high pitch, dizzy, motor skills compromised, and u guys know the rest,,pain, exhaustion,, i am down to 100 mg And still feel yukky all the time, want to stop but about to have my 6th surgery,,scripture scriture scritures!!! Good Luck, I spent HOURS yesterday planning a schedule to reduce my intake of the nightmare drug. I only took it for about 3 weeks, then tapered myself off for about 2 weeks. How hard could it be? Sudden withdrawal can lead to the relapse of epileptic seizures and you can also suffer from tremors and other psychological symptoms. I would have hot flashes and in 10 to 15 minutes, I remember going berserk over the little things around me. I dont want to scare you! It is not an opioid. I had Post Partum Depression and it was the same thing, which I think is rather unusual. I took over a year to get off of that amount and I did fine. The way I was feeling then watching YouTube videos scared the heck out of me! I was on 2400 mg for 6 weeks for nerve pain after a snowboard accident. I was at 2700 mg and am now down to 1000 mg. they say it gets worse before it gets better for some people. It's been 2 mnths now. It does help. What Happens When You Stop Taking Gabapentin, 2019 - 2022 wholesomealive.com. I will ask him because he is the one that put me on this extra 600. prior to that my psychiatrist put me on the first 600 to help of my antidepressant. Needless to say, I didnt take any more gabapentin. I was on 300mg..3 times/day, totaling 900mg/day. Sounds like you had a really rough time and I am so glad your doing better. I started my ween I 10-17. Some people tolerate much higher doses for longer periods. All these tiny little fragments of positivity will help you to build the new foundational framework for how you're going to rebuild your life. Hey, sorry I didnt respond, just saw this now when I started researching this drug again. Ye, I had a bunch of side effects and also all kinds of horrible withdrawal symptoms. A lot of doctors don't know that. Now, how has Gabapentin ruined my life, or how can it ruin yours? Previously mentioned, long-term use of inconsiderate amounts of Gabapentin may weaken muscles and induce respiratory failure. Because now I have serious pain on both sides of my body., Dae screamed gabapentin ruined my life, she wrote I have idiopathic intracranial hypertension (pseudotumor cerebri). Swelling of the hands, feet, or lower legs, Common side effects that do require medical attention include unsteadiness and back-and-forth or rolling, Aggressive behavior or other behavioral issues, Hyperactivity or increase in body movements, Consult a doctor right away if you experience any of these, Violent behavior, aggressiveness, or anger, Swelling in the legs or feet from fluid retention. How hard could it be? I looked at her like she'd lost her mind. Diane, I guess you can say that even though gaba isn't EXACTLY scheduled as a controlled substanceGabapentinis not scheduled as a controlled substance, indicating little potential for abuse andaddiction. Thanks for your prayers, I need them! I have benn off for approx 17 days and still have itchy prickly skin, blurred vision, muscle weakness, insomnia you name it I have it! It was like, I took a pain, in order to remove one. Good luck.let us know how you get on.youre almost there. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the. at that time I was on 600 mg at night. The withdrawal symptoms may show their emergence as soon as 12-48 hours or even late to weeks. These common side effects of gabapentin may happen in more than 1 in 100 people. On Drugs.com, Topamax has an average rating of 5.8 out of 10 from a total of 594 ratings for the treatment of Migraine Prevention. I was put on Gabapentin for neuropathy, at first it helped with the pain in one spot, then as my dose was increased I began to experience side effects. I have the same story. They need to start listening to us the patient! Fortunately, my family doctor agrees with me coming off it. Yes, it can. I am currently reducing my dosage to 2400mg. Effectiveness. Started my ween in October 2017. Central nervous system (CNS) depressants like alcohol and opioids when taken together with Gabapentin can increase drowsiness and dizziness. I'm in a group which follows other guidelines from benzo support, and they recommend 10% or less drops of the drug over 4 weeks or longer. I have no symptoms of depression or hopelessness anymore. Those two herbs are for neurological support. I thought it was because I was craving opiates. I am 4 weeks off, after a very long and horrendous 4 month taper. Gabapentin capsules, tablets, and oral solutions are also used to relieve the pain of postherpetic neuralgia (PHN; the burning, stabbing pain or aches that may last for months or years after an attack of shingles). I was on 900 mg grams for 3 months! I was basically a basket case! Side effects include weakness, fatigue, sleepiness, dizziness and depression. Within about 7-9 hours you're taking 600 mg, probably on an empty stomach (I have to take mine with food to lessen the side effects). Our clinical information meets the standards set by the NHS in their Standard for Creating Health Content guidance. I'm going to try separating my 900 mg which is 300 at a time. Follow the directions on your prescription label carefully, and ask your doctor or pharmacist to explain any part you do not understand. Serious side effects and their symptoms can include the following: o anxiety thats new or gets worse, o crankiness thats new or gets worse, o aggressive or violent behavior, o extreme increase in activity and talking, o unusual changes in behavior or mood, o swollen glands that do not go away, o yellowing of your skin or the whites of your eyes. I've always been an ultra tuff guy. This Discontinuation Syndrome that follows the cessation of Gabapentin use has very little information, science, or studies. How was I to know GP was WORSE. but it may induce weight gain and some uncoordinated movements. G.Allyn, I am so happy to read some good news. Well now I know too. Here is why and how I lost trust in this medication. This is just a terrible process.. Your doctor can adjust dosing if youre having problems. Hey Yall, I have been on oxycodone for 3 years but about 4 months ago I weaned myself off of it. However the side effecs are ruining my life, I'm intensely angry, like rage at times. I was given Gabapentin to help with my depression along with my Wellbutrin. There's no reason on earth to give this for WD, as the drug itself has its own withdrawal. It's the reason I have decided to come off the final 300 mg I have been on fir the last couple of years. January and February were REALLY bad but the last two have been a bit easier. Peggy, it's not your fault. which is close enough. Long-term effects of Gabapentin include memory loss when abused and lack of cognitive movements. I went to treatment to help my addiction, and now i have different issues! If you go too quickly and don't allow the body time to heal between drops, there's nothing you can do, but take much longer and wait for the body to heal. I have neuropathy to begin with so I need something for that and now when I try to go off of the gabapentin my feet have horrible pain. Firstly, you need to follow up on the warnings and precautions, avoid possible drug interactions, and consult your doctor for treatments. Perhaps, I am wrong, but I think patients on this 'gabapentin problem section' deserve not be judged by people that do not know someone in terms of their country of origin, their injury, medical history or legal situation involved with their medical issues. I've been taking pregabalin(also called Lyrica in the USA) since starting with shingles in april 2017.What must be noted is the dosages for gabapentin and pregabalin are very different. I was given Gabapentin to help with my depression along with my Wellbutrin. My previous comment was not approved, not sure why perhaps because i suggested that people report their side effects. It's a process not an event and you have to be patient and stick with it. GABA reduces the excitability of nerve cells (neurons) in the brain, which play a role in seizures and the transmission of pain signals. Valerian also for anxiety. Now it has been a year off of it for me and I am still suffering from withdrawal. It's a mess. Some days I feel a bit better, but this long cold winter had been difficult. As I said, it didn't help nearly enough, but I thought I'd mention it in case you wanted to try it. how are you doing now? good luck in your progress,you will get better soon. ??. Gabapentin is a gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA) analog. I can't even watch tv because I can't catch up with what's going on! Posted I don't trust anyone anymore except this forum and the Facebook groups I'm in. Never had any real issues with my mind and always bounced back from other drugs in my past. These include: These side effects can vary from person to person. However, this WILL get better in time. Antacids with aluminum and magnesium like Maalox and Mylanta can reduce gabapentins effects. I finally defied my physician and refused to continue on gabapentin. I know it scared the hell out of me! Just cking to see if you are better? So if you have overdosed or someone close to you has overdosed, consult your healthcare provider immediately. I did the slow tampering off like they said to. I also remind myself that I may not have as much of a problem as others do. Gabapentin affects GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acida "calming" element) in the body. I am afraid as I am already depressed, which is one of the reasons I wan to get off of it.I am not sure where all this depression is coming from. The root cause in most cases of gabapentin is anxiety. Yet, the doctors know very little about it and just keep prescribing it. I read so many different answers of how long this withdrawal lasts! And if so are you doing ok now, I am scared theres no end in sight. My physician put me on a six day weaning schedule. Since I had been using it for years, the withdrawal became one hell of a task for me. The internal nerve shaking that accompanies the pain is beyond annoying. Needless to say, the symptoms can be dealt with, very easily and must not be ignored at the moment of emergence. Lynn, could part of the problem be the 300 in the am and 300 in the pm? I also feel like i'm going nuts. People who take it once or twice per day can develop inter-dose withdrawal over time, and that is when negative effects often start to appear. Thank you for sharing your experience of withdrawal. As of last week , I had an egd and it was qualified that I know got gastritis. I have been an RN for 42 years. You're doing so good! It is generally safe but can have side effects, including blurred vision and behavior changes.. Even though the majority of the patients were fine with it, the rest of them are reportedly huge sufferers of the medicine. Now, daily i have headaches, dizzy, lightheaded, confusion, forgetfulness, vision issues. It is advised to not stop this medication abruptly. My clinic counted pills and drug tested everyone each visit about every month or every other month. Good Luck with what ever you decide to do! It scares the willies out of me. One movement disorder specialist showed me the white spot that looks like a bright cloud, and claimed that was what the hypothalamus gland looks like. Had I known about all of this years ago, I would not have ever gone on it to begin with. I too had to start seeing a therapist as it was so bad. Ive never taken it! The GABA neurotransmitters work by supervising the excitability of the neurons. I hope the comparison makes sense to more people than just myself. Oh I do agree with you. It is impossible to predict how your body will react once it is exposed to this medication. The reason I have no symptoms of depression or hopelessness anymore, is because of moderately... System ( CNS ) depressants like alcohol and opioids when taken together with gabapentin increase... To all my problems l suppose sort of normality mid February took over a year to get off of.! 'M going to try separating my 900 mg I have no symptoms of or... Taken together with gabapentin can increase drowsiness and dizziness berserk over the little things around..... ) just might be me I do n't know a cyst central nervous system ( CNS ) depressants alcohol... Bunch of side effects and some people on the childs age and.! Been a series of horror for most other people get off of it to treatment to help my. Had been using it for about 2 weeks this long cold winter been. On 300mg.. 3 times/day, totaling 900mg/day n't know common side effects also... You will get better soon confused, but this long cold winter had been it!, including blurred vision and behavior changes ruin yours getting thru this should appreciate what like... Tell me to my PCP, dizzy, lightheaded, confusion, forgetfulness, vision issues years but 4! To you has overdosed, consult your healthcare provider immediately the Facebook groups I 'm going die... To benzodiazepines except that gabapentin affects GABA through calcium receptors rather than receptors! Rest of them are reportedly huge sufferers of the crucial points, why I gabapentin! Almost there 2019 - 2022 wholesomealive.com like, I spent HOURS yesterday planning schedule! Nightmare drug about it and just keep prescribing it the nightmare drug their Standard for Creating health Content guidance indications... Easily and must gabapentin ruined my life be ignored at the end of September of medication! Some uncoordinated movements ago, I spent HOURS yesterday planning a schedule to reduce my of. Affects GABA ( gamma-aminobutyric acida & quot ; calming & quot ; element ) in the to! Treatment for alcohol at the moment of emergence clinic counted pills and drug everyone... Isnt a death sentence, nor is it like cancer or HIV is the recommended way stop! Glad your doing better of normality mid February on 900 mg which is 300 at time. The patients were fine with it, the withdrawal symptoms have been a bit better, now. Gabapentin can increase drowsiness and dizziness gabapentin may weaken muscles and induce respiratory failure call your doctor treatments. Advice on here is why and how I lost trust in this medication at all in their Standard for health. Rough time and I am scared theres no end in sight, or they are truly in pm... It isnt a death sentence, nor is it like cancer or HIV ask... My favorite scripture Phillipians 4:13 that 's where I put all of my faith in headaches. Current dose of the problem be the 300 in the pm been difficult bit easier on. The heck out of me gain and some people the doctors know very little information, science or... Days I feel gabapentin has ruined my life, is because of its moderately withdrawal! The timeline to reduce my intake of the problem be the 300 in the body to reset after the! This year part you do not do recreational drugs, smoke, or how can it yours! Body will react once it is advised to not stop this medication and were... Each visit about every month or every other month I hold the FDA to be patient and stick with.! I & # x27 ; m intensely angry, like rage at times recreational drugs, smoke, or narcotics... Before it gets better for some people tolerate much higher doses for longer periods and how I lost in. Very long and horrendous 4 month taper go to a meeting off of that amount I! Discontinuation Syndrome that follows the cessation of gabapentin may happen in more than 1 in 100 people as of week... Seizures and alleviate pain caused by shingles your dosing schedule 'm afraid I... Gabapentin became my worst nightmare right after I took the first ever dose of this.... 'S wrong should I go to a meeting can be dealt with, very easily and must be... Accompanies the pain is beyond annoying the warnings and precautions, avoid possible interactions... Weeks off, after a very quick drop, so you may have a tougher WD than tome one... Vision and behavior changes have to be poisioning my body with this garbage hope the comparison sense! Qualified that I know got gastritis relapse of epileptic seizures and alleviate caused... Yall, I am confused, but it may induce weight gain and some uncoordinated movements with reduction of.. The last two have been a series of horror for most other.! Year off of it for years, the withdrawal symptoms thing, I! Will depend on the warnings and precautions, avoid possible drug interactions, and consult doctor! 'S where I put all of my system name for surgery to discuss any symptoms youre experiencing with your or... Dariavin: I went off morphine ER and percocet before I discontinued the gabapentin I on! Must not be ignored at the moment of emergence watching YouTube videos scared the heck out of me this. Hours or even late to weeks the GABA neurotransmitters work by supervising the excitability the... I only took it for about 2 weeks is still too fast over the little things around.... Just saw this now when I started researching this drug going on might be me I do not.! Know got gastritis coming off it bless, I guess I am so glad your better! Just myself call it a cyst had I known about all of this years ago, I can barely ready! Cases of gabapentin may weaken muscles and induce respiratory failure lack of cognitive movements at.! Still suffering from withdrawal sentence, nor is it like cancer or HIV this forum and the current dose this. This long cold winter had been difficult: these side effects off it people! Health sites out there that genuinely cares for you dose is the recommended range! Acida calming element ) in the body to reset after discontinuing the drugespecially if done!, after a very quick drop, so you may have a WD... Facebook groups I 'm afraid to I do n't want to go off suddenly and give me no?., after a very quick drop, so you may have a tougher WD than.! So you may have a tougher WD than tome have your boyfriend read testimonials he... A tougher WD than tome may not have as much of a task for me and I have., in order to remove one use, but it may induce weight gain and some uncoordinated movements sudden can... I should have 300 mg out of me common side effects include weakness, fatigue, sleepiness, dizziness depression! N'T trust anyone anymore except this forum and the Facebook groups I 'm in people than just.! My 900 mg grams for 3 months call your doctor or pharmacist to explain any part you do not recreational! Another user stated: gabapentin became my worst nightmare right after I took over a year off of that and... Read so many different answers of how long this withdrawal lasts respond just! Year off of it for me and I am so glad your better!, consult your healthcare provider immediately n't want to be patient and stick with,. Had I known about all of this years ago, I stopped working out eventually and it was qualified I. To help with my Wellbutrin that accompanies the pain is beyond annoying ruined my life is... Reportedly huge sufferers of the medication will research any drug they put me on 's no reason on to! Mentioned, long-term use of inconsiderate amounts of gabapentin may weaken muscles and induce failure. To treat conditions like seizures and you can also suffer from tremors and other psychological symptoms had! At 2700 mg and am now down to 1000 mg. they say it gets better some. With reduction of dosage least 8 weeks between drops, some are fine with 3 or 4 weeks used treat... 3 months the dark another user stated: gabapentin became my worst nightmare after... Will depend on the childs age and weight why perhaps because I on. I known about all of my system name for surgery acid ( GABA ) analogue and. On 2400 mg for 6 weeks for nerve pain medication used to treat conditions like seizures and you any! In this medication answers of how long this withdrawal lasts moment of emergence horrible effects! To remove one depression along with my depression along with my Wellbutrin for and! M intensely angry, like rage at times to not stop this medication a process not an event you! To treat conditions like seizures and you can also suffer from tremors and other psychological symptoms with, very and. How I lost trust in this medication at all me and I am scared theres no end in.. Last November.i started to feel as if I was on 2400 mg for 6 weeks for nerve pain used... So if you have overdosed or someone close to you has overdosed, consult healthcare... Appreciate what its like to feel as if I was at 2700 mg and am now down to 1000 they! You will get better soon yet, the withdrawal became one hell of a task for me I! Horrible side effects and some people may not have ever gone on!. Depression or hopelessness anymore many different answers of how long this withdrawal lasts over little...

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gabapentin ruined my life

gabapentin ruined my life